Taking the Fifth

I took a fifth step toward recovery
Shared my secrets, my quirks
There wasn’t much drama 
no scandals, no improprieties
Just human weakness
Shames that feed my compulsions
Shames that can’t be sweetened
by all the sugar in the world
 
I’ve carried these worn-out habits
day after day
stowed in a gray canvas tote
from the bookstore over on Broadway
I tuck them under the chair at meetings
or leave them in another room when I Zoom
 
Taking the fifth means
telling the truth
the whole truth
nothing but the truth
Yet no judge, no jury
instead a generous sponsor
with words of encouragement
and understanding
 
So I coaxed out these old friends
that kept me safe when I needed them
introduced them to my warm-hearted listener
acknowledged their gifts
got ready to say goodbye
 
Of course, old habits don’t 
get on the bus and leave town
I can’t put the canvas bag in the dumpster
and expect them gone on Tuesday
when the trash truck comes
But I can clear my house of them
and not answer the door when they knock. 
 
Jill K 2021