I took a fifth step toward recovery
Shared my secrets, my quirks
There wasn’t much drama
no scandals, no improprieties
Just human weakness
Shames that feed my compulsions
Shames that can’t be sweetened
by all the sugar in the world
I’ve carried these worn-out habits
day after day
stowed in a gray canvas tote
from the bookstore over on Broadway
I tuck them under the chair at meetings
or leave them in another room when I Zoom
Taking the fifth means
telling the truth
the whole truth
nothing but the truth
Yet no judge, no jury
instead a generous sponsor
with words of encouragement
So I coaxed out these old friends
that kept me safe when I needed them
introduced them to my warm-hearted listener
acknowledged their gifts
got ready to say goodbye
Of course, old habits don’t
get on the bus and leave town
I can’t put the canvas bag in the dumpster
and expect them gone on Tuesday
when the trash truck comes
But I can clear my house of them
and not answer the door when they knock.
Jill K 2021
I have been experiencing the most abstinence in quite some time.
It began in a sleepless night, pondering my lack of abstinence and what was lacking in my program. I woke with willingness and spent time with God exploring the possibilities.
Then my sponsor asked if I wanted to work the twelve steps on one subject. I definitely was open to this writing exercise and following her suggestions. I will try to include the format here.
The result of that exercise and choosing to send my food plan for the day in the morning was the jump start I needed!
I have been working the tools and enjoying meetings more than usual.
Thank God for sponsors and the OA program!
Identify a situation in your personal or work life that is currently a source of resentment, fear, sadness or anger. Write a brief statement describing the situation and indicating why it concerns you.
Step One: In what ways are you powerless over the situation or condition, and how is it showing you the unmanageability of your life?
Step Two: How do you see your Higher Power as assisting you in being restored to wholeness?
Step Three: How does being willing to turn your life over to the care of God assist you in dealing with this?
Step Four: What character traits have surfaced (for example: fear of abandonment or authority figures, seeking control, seeking approval, obsessive/compulsive behavior, rescuing, taking inappropriate responsibility, not expressing feelings)?
Step Five: Admit your wrongs to God, to yourself and to another human being.
Step Six: Are you entirely ready to work in partnership with God to remove your ineffective behaviors? If not, explain why.
Step Seven: Can you humbly ask God for help in removing your shortcomings? If not, what stands in your way?
Step Eight: Make a list of persons who are being harmed.
Step Nine: What amends are necessary and how will you make them?
Step Ten: Review the above steps to make sure that nothing has been overlooked.
Step Eleven: Take a moment for prayer and meditation, asking for knowledge of God's will for you? What did you discover?
Step Twelve: How can your understanding and spiritual guidance assist you in dealing with this problem?